Oh, say have you… SEEN THIS?

Who doesn’t love a good parody? Certainly no one I want to hang out with, amirite? So if you haven’t checked out this Instagram account, you’re seriously missing out.

Celeste Barber Flamingo

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Celeste Barber Instagram

This lady right here might be my most perfect spirit animal. Celeste Barber re-creates celebrity Instagrams and never fails to NAIL IT!
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Watch out, people-who-take-yourselves-far-too-seriously. She’s on the case and you’re officially on notice. Not even Beyonce is safe.

Celeste Barber Beyonce

 

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Girls can, and girls do: teaching my boys about feminism

Yesterday as I drove the littles to school, we passed a construction area where a woman in a bright orange vest was waving traffic through. As we passed I made a point to say, “look, a construction lady!” which was met with instant whines from the backseat.

“Buuuuuut she caaaaaan’t be. That’s just for boys!”

My oldest is in a stubborn spot about girls right now. He tells me frequently that he doesn’t like girls, even though I constantly remind him that mommy is a girl. So when I realized his little brain was having a hard time reconciling this scene, I improvised with a response that I think I might have to use for the rest of my life.

“But girls CAN! And girls DO!” I retorted. I waved out my rolled-down window to the woman who sparked this conversation and was silently grateful for her being there.

It turns out it was also the day that one of my best, oldest friends went back to work after 6 months of maternity leave. Anyone who’s been in those shoes knows there’s no way to mentally prepare for the emotions that sweep over you on that first day you leave your baby behind to continue the life you knew before their appearance in the world. Or at least attempt to continue some semblance of it.

Something must have aligned the stars because, by luck, during my morning consignment run to trade-in and procure winter clothes for the dudes, I stumbled across a shirt I knew she had to have for her little gal.

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Not too long after getting home she called me sobbing, having forgotten some pump parts, feeling awful, and generally questioning her mothering ability as we all do. I immediately sent her a photo of the shirt, because girls can, and girls DO!

So here I am, raising two little dudes in a world that I feel often neglects to recognize their mothers as equals on the playing field. A world that sends that message to them early, and often fails to care for new moms or kids in a healthy, nurturing way, long after they’re born. Teaching my boys that girls CAN and girls DO is the absolute LEAST I can do. All I can do is hope that they learn by seeing women — the construction lady, me, my bestie going back to work– DOING it ALL, so it’s not a lesson, it’s just their reality.

So, feral housewives, if you’re out there doing it, KEEP DOING IT! I know the struggle is real, but our littles are watching and cheering you on, even if its in the form of whiney ourtrage they don’t know it yet. And if I see that construction lady again, I may just get out and give her a big ole’ hug.

 

Is rage-cleaning right for you?

Rage-cleaning: (reyj klee-ning); verb.

Cleaning with an angry fury, violent anger (sometimes used in combination). Now available! Should be taken daily with a meal, preferably one with a lot of bread.

Active ingredients include: pent-up lack of patience, unexpected unemployment, small, sharp toys, loud music from the late 90’s, and nearly every carb in the house. 

RageRX

All kidding aside, I’ve been channeling my unexpected unemployment/job-hunt frustration into some nice changes to our house. We moved in a year ago, but since I was 5 months pregnant at the time and started a new job the same week, not a whole lot of updates and decorating got done. So in effort to actually DO those, I’ve been doing some rage-cleaning. Which leads to rage-decorating. Which eventually leads to rage-crafting, but I’ll get to that later.

Curtains got put up. Temporary wallpaper finally got placed. The playroom was finally organized and set up. The new house numbers finally got installed on the door. It’s been a nice distraction as I play the waiting game on so many fronts.

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Plus, I figure I may as well do it now. Once I get a job, the house will probably go back to a permanent disaster area until the kids are at least 18. But that’s ok, they’re just being obsinate making memories.

 

Five Ways To Treat Yo’ Self for International Self Care Day

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It’s International Self Care Day today! What are my fellow feral housewives doing to keep their mind in the middle? Here’s a list of my five favorites.

  1. Read a magazine. You know, one from the GIANT PILE OF PARENTING MAGAZINES UNDER MY NIGHTSTAND that you’d never want to be seen reading in public. The kind that are always lying around when you get a pedicure, so you slyly grab one to quickly catch up on Prince William & Kate world affairs while that perfect shade of Madame President red dries perfectly on your callused toes poor, tired feet.
  2. Take a drive. I don’t know about you, but I LOVE to discover new places, so sometimes I’ll just go out and explore roads I’ve passed but never been down. Because I’m still fairly new here, it’s not hard.
  3. Rage clean. Sometimes self-care for me means cleaning up my kid-ruled house, if only for an hour or so. I’m so much more calm waking up to a clutter-free bedroom, or a nice clean floor where that pile of magazines used to be under my nightstand a living room free of errant dog bones, tumbleweeds of dog hair or singing Daniel Tiger characters. Plug in the vacuum and say OMMMMMMMMMMM……
  4. Go go a thrift store. It never fails to put me in a happy place. Where else can you go through thousands of people’s closets and quietly judge their taste find something absolutely perfect for the price of a coffee. It’a a bit of an obsession of mine, really. 
  5. Put your hands in the dirt. Similar to rage cleaning, but outside with fresh air and neighbors watching. I like pulling weeds, picking berries, and occasionally getting a little too crazy with the hedgetrimmers a good workout in. It’s a great way to feel better about life, lawn, and the world in general.

Amy Poehler is a SHERO.

I’m re-reading (ok, listening to it this time….yeesh…) Amy Poehler’s YES PLEASE! the last few days. It has me laughing out loud in the car, and gives me the ability to withstand the “MAMA! MAMA! MAMA!” constantly echoing from the backseat. I have to say, she’s a TOTAL SHERO on so many levels. Successful, funny, yet willing to admit that at times, also a complete disaster.

I love her honesty and determination. I envy her ability to juggle it all and her fleet of nannies boundless energy. But mostly I love that she just–keeps– going. This was a quote from her book that keeps rolling through my head. I wish we all did this more, the world would be so much better for it.

High five, AMY!

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